Horrible Memories Continue to Replay in My Head
Millions of people are haunted by past memories and need help. For some, the memories repeat in their dreams, and some get hit trying to live their lives with horrific past memories resurfacing wherever – which makes enjoying life quite impossible. If this sounds like you, read this blog all the way through. What does it take for bad memories to stop resurfacing? In this blog, I will help you understand why memories repeat and give you two important exercises that you can do to stop bad memories.
"Knowledge is Power! The more you know you can take Control"
When the body experiences anything new, it is an introduction into what is possible. In a one-time situation, the body is unsure of what happened and if the situation will happen again. Situational power takes hold when people re-experience the same thing twice, good or bad. Our subconscious will look for it again, which calls it into existence. Once the body becomes familiar with a situation, it sets the stage for repeat problems. For example, imagine if you never knew the color yellow but saw it for a brief moment once. If ten years go by without seeing it a second time, you would not expect to. This is similar for any experience negative or positive. Memories will haunt you when they are traumatic and repetitive. If you are reading this, then it is meant for you to hear.
It is not so surprising then when you find yourself in a similar, if not dead on exact traumatic situation that happened, years ago to cause you pain, hurt and anger. You feel stuck and helpless, unable to escape the prison bound by these memories, haunting you and repeating in your life. Perhaps for some of us it is not that serious, but still bothersome dealing with occasional bad memories. We all deserve to live free of trauma. We can take control back! One way to gain control over intrusive memories is to fill up your day up with fresh energy. Let's talk about what I mean by fresh energy.
Energy in Balance
There are situations that give you fresh energy or situations that will deplete your energy. For examples, running errands, doing chores, watching television, internet browsing, and social media are examples of situations that deplete your energy because it is over stimulating. When you do chores or electronic filling, do so with awareness that it takes energy away from you, and to be careful how much you do in one day. It is like when we decide to have a baby. Time will be taken from you even if it is very rewarding.
We all have responsibilities. For the future of our children, the world needs as many of us fully healed as possible. Fill up half of your day with activities that give you energy to heal and empower you. At the end of this blog, you will see five ways to fill up your days with things that give you energy. The goal is to balance daily activities that deplete your energy with those that renew it. Combine ideas from these categories, with your ideas, and create your own day filler.
Imagination Matters
In addition to filling up your day, you will need to take control back and change the past. Now I know most of you are like no way, but wait let me explain. It helps to read this part slowly. Neuroscientists found in research that our brains do not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. If you imagine that you are skiing, the cells in your brain will fire as if you are actually skiing. This is an important point. Read slower… Do not remember traumatic memories as they happened because your brain will still think you are being traumatized! Oh snap, reread that sentence again! Next, I will give you a powerful healing exercise that will help change your past.
Two Ways to Stop Bad Memories
#1 Change my Past
The change my past is the first exercise you absolutely need. You will change the bad memories of the past with two tools. 1. An imagined remote control and 2. Add in characters to the memories. The brain does not know the difference between real or imagined. So, you can literally change your past using your imagination. Here's how to do it….
I am giving you an imaginary remote control. Hold this in your hand and know that you can hit pause, rewind or slow play whenever you need to. When a past memory comes up that you don't like, sit down and take a deep breath. Using the imaginary remote, hit pause and rewind to the beginning of the memory. Before you hit play, decide which character you want to add in, like a family member you trust or your adult self now or an angel. So, there is the memory as it happened, but now you are adding in another person into the memory. Hit play. Let's take an example of this. Say your father use to yell at you and you felt scared during those times.
You were doing dishes when suddenly a memory of your father yelling at you comes up when you were 10 years old. Stop what you are doing, take your imagined remote, hit pause, and decide who to add into the memory.
In this instance, you want to add your adult self. You hit slow replay and your father begins yelling at you, but this time you notice that your adult self is in the memory too. He steps in between you and your father yelling, in a move to protect you. You are the child in the memory, and you are watching your adult self who is talking with your father. Then, to your relief you see your father calming down.
What just happened? The original memory was changed to a different outcome, one in which you were protected by your own self. Now you feel relief and protection which tells your brain to fire new cells.
I can hear some of you saying nice example, but my father would just yell at my adult self. If that is how it will happen, adding in your adult self, then it is the truth. If you see that, then it is time to be your own best friend, and again regain control using the remote I gave you.
Hit rewind and redo the scenes, but this time change it up again. Add in a different character, like your mother or an angel. Keep re-imagining the memory until you feel safe and relieved. Don't give up. There is so much to experience in this life. Save yourself!
It is time to say the past no longer dictates your future. See the additional character as playing a bigger role like picking you up and leaving the house, or the angel touches your father's shoulder and he settles down.
"Imagining positive scenes will cause you to have positive real life experiences". That is the truth and accepting the truth helps you a lot to move forward. Speaking of which, read on for the next step you need.
#2 Fill up My Day
The Fill up My Day is the second way to take back control, over the loss of control you experienced, because of traumas. Craft ideas from these five categories below to plan your day. When you take back control, and plan out your day, you create a story for yourself that goes against the past. If you don't plan your day, you give unused space for your brain to revisit the past. In the future, when your new space is positive and no longer recalling the past, you can go back to a more relaxed spacious way of being.
1. Connected to Earth Energy
Walking or dancing moves the energy, from in your head, where the memories are, to your feet. New realities are created using the energy under your feet. Changing your system so bad memories do not resurface comes from tapping into the energy around the outside of your body. When your feet connect to energy under your feet, and you take in all the space around you, on the walk, your system resets. This energy will heal you but that is for a later post. Now can you see why walks are so important?
2. Connect to Water
Unless you have a fear of water, connect to it in multiple ways is super healing. From drinking water to observing water flowing (a nearby river or the mall fountain) to bathing in it each day. Water is super healing to the system and should be an important part of your daily planning. Trauma is stuck energy in your body. Water is energy that flows, so watching it and feeling it informs you of that difference which is healing. Perhaps you have a hot springs near you can visit or a hot tub or a lake? Basically, any kind of water you experience with touch or eye sight is helpful. How can this be added more to your day?
3. Meditate
Learn to meditate will take some time, but it is super helpful to changing the inside of your body and brain to a whole new system. Meditation is not hard to do if broken down into small steps, which I am happy to help you with. If you already meditate, then perfect just keep it in your daily plan and increase the frequency to twice a day. If you are brand new to meditation, then google an easy ten minute guided meditation and follow that. If you are semi-new to meditation and find some parts hard, I am happy to give you free tools. You are welcome to connect with me through email or on facebook.
4. A List of Activities you Love
Write up a quick list of all the activities you love to do or you use to love to do. After you write it until nothing else comes to mind, think of any new activities you wish to try, and add those items onto the list. Now you have a completed List of Activities. Which one activity could you add to your day? If there are activities you want to do but can't do in one day, then break it into parts and put the part in your day. For example, I want to create a photo journal of travels with my kids. So, I put into my day to go to stores and look for a big enough journal or binder I would like to use. Break things into parts and put that in the day.
5. Add in Joy
We all keep very busy with life be it school, work, chores, kids, etc. It is super important to add joy to your days. Some ideas can be simple like putting on music while you do the dishes, or you can make a chore at home a whole family event. Not only does this speed up getting it done, but keeps the kids from arguing about chores if they see everyone pitching in together. Watch a comedy after the kids go to bed. Hang out with the friend that causes you to laugh. How can you add more joy to your days?
Closing
Let's rally together and say, "I am not going to let my past determine my future!" "I am taking a stand to decide exactly how I want my life to go." If you know someone who can benefit from this blog, please share it and encourage them to join Sol Heals facebook page to get more awesome healing tools.
You are so worth it…..
One healing step at a time,
Bethany Latimer, M.A., LMHC
Mental Health Blogger & Meditation Healing Coach
Email: bethany@solheals.com
Like our Page for Healing Resources: http://facebook.com/solheals
Source: https://solheals.com/how-to-stop-bad-memories/